Quote of the Week
A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is full of selfishness, anger, and criticism. The other wolf is full of compassion, kindness, and love."
The grandson asked, "Which wolf will win this fight in your heart?"
The grandfather answered: "The one that I feed."
--Col. J. Z. Goldstein
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Healing Words
Healing words do not have to be reserved for relatives and friends. Every day most of us encounter service people - the supermarket cashier, the bus driver, the office cleaning person, the dentist’s receptionist, etc. Often we do not speak to these people at all - except to complain about what we don’t like. It’s easy to regard service people as faceless functionaries. In fact, they are fellow human beings, with their own struggles, dreams, and heartaches. When you address the human being inside the uniform, the most human part of you is also awakened, as the following stories show.
Rob, a successful computer consultant, was having dinner at a Chinese restaurant downtown. The waiter, a middle-aged Oriental man, moved slower than Rob would have liked. Rob was hungry, and it seemed like the appetizer took forever to arrive. Finally the waiter placed the won-ton soup in front of Rob. At the first spoonful, Rob grimaced. It was barely warm.
He loudly called the waiter and demanded that the soup be heated up. "This is inferior service," Rob barked. "And I’ve already waited too long. Bring it back hot, pronto!"
The waiter nervously picked up the bowl and scurried back to the kitchen with it. Within three or four minutes, the waiter scurried back with a steaming bowl of soup on his tray. As he placed it down before Rob, he fumbled, and some of the hot liquid spilled on Rob’s hand.
Rob let out a string of curses. "You’re the worst waiter I’ve ever seen," he ranted. "I’m going to report you to the boss and have you fired."
"I so sorry," the waiter muttered, hanging his head.
Rob glanced around for the maitre de, who was nowhere in sight.
"Please," the waiter was saying, "I need this job. I have lot of medical bills to pay."
"Oh, yeah?" Rob was still furious. "What for? Your lousy eyesight?"
"For my son," the waiter answered simply.
Rob felt like a brick wall had suddenly appeared in front of his charging bull anger. He stopped short. "What’s wrong with your son?"
"A rare form of leukemia." The waiter spoke so softly that Rob had to lean toward him to hear.
"I-I-I’m sorry," Rob faltered. "No wonder your head’s not into won-ton soup and eggrolls. Let’s just forget about the spill. It could happen to anyone."
The waiter nodded his head and walked away slowly toward the kitchen.
Rob sat there almost trembling. "What if I had complained to the boss and had him fired?" he said to himself, horrified. Rob’s own younger brother had died of leukemia when he was fifteen. "How close I came to causing such damage," thought Rob in anguish.
Later, when the waiter cleared Rob’s place, he found doodled on the place mat in blue ink: "Angry words are like bullets shot by a blindfolded madman—they never really know their target."
Naomi was in a hurry to check out her groceries and get home. The young blonde woman bagging her groceries was obviously new at the job. Naomi restrained herself from shrieking when she saw her start to put the apples on top of the strawberries. "I think the strawberries should go on top," Naomi managed to say in an even tone.
The young woman looked embarrassed. "Of course," was all she said, rearranging the items in the bag.
As the young woman helped Naomi put her bags in the trunk of her car, Naomi heard her inner voice chiding: "Say something friendly. She’s a person, too."
What to say to a total stranger? Naomi came up with, "How do you like your job?"
"Glad to have it," the young woman replied. As she lifted the last bag into the trunk, she added, "After my husband was murdered and our restaurant went bankrupt, I decided to come to L.A. and try to start over. I didn’t know if I’d find any kind of job here at all. I’m glad to have a weekly paycheck."
Naomi was stunned. What could she say? She thought: Sometimes it takes more than words to heal. But sometimes it starts with words.
"You’re obviously a very brave young woman," Naomi said sincerely. "Many people would have crumbled going through such a tragedy. Coming to a strange city and starting over again takes a lot of inner strength. With fortitude like yours, I’m sure you’ll succeed in forging a new life. I really wish you well."
The young woman broke into a smile. "Well, if half the people here are as nice as you are, I really came to the right place."
Naomi drove home feeling that her car was full of much more than groceries. |
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