 The Talmud severely criticizes jealousy (Ethics of our Fathers 4:21). Yet, the Torah itself calls the Al-mighty Himself "a jealous G-d" (Exodus 34:14), and lauds it by others, e.g., Pinchos
(Numbers 25:11). How can jealousy - which seems to be a terrible trait - be considered good?
The Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav Yochanan Zweig would like to suggest the following. At the heart of jealousy lies the desire to possess that which is not suitable for oneself, e.g., something belonging to another. The opposite (seeking that which is suitable & endeavoring to retain it) constitutes the positive side of jealousy.
Therefore, the husband that suspects his wife of unfaithfulness is obligated to investigate the matter (Tractate Sotah 3a which so defines the verse in Numbers 5:15, "and a spirit of jealousy had passed over him and he warned his wife"). His Kinah is justified & encouraged. That is why the Al-mighty is called "a jealous G-d". The Jewish People are "wedded" to him (His people) & he becomes righteously "jealous" - as it were - when they stray by worshipping idols (other gods
On the other hand, desiring what is not(nor likely to become) yours, be it in material or even spiritual matters, represents the unhealthy kind of Kinah. The Rabbis declare this type of jealousy to be self-destructive.
The period of adolescence should be used to articulate one's particular potential in order to determine specific & proper life-goals and the means to attain them. One must focus on oneself & not be limited by preconceived notions. Once these goals have been articulated, the sole measure of accomplishment should be in relationship to one's potential. "I know what I can do. I've set down my goals. Does my performance measure up?" When one is satisfied with his own sense of accomplishment he can & will be happy with the successes of others. The negative aspect of jealousy will no longer play its disruptive role in his life.
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